Trust that this is by no means an act of an oversized ego trying to spill its pretentious guts in order to gain fame and fortune. It is only an act of a regular sized ego trying to free some space in an already far-too-cramped brain by unloading some of the runoff onto the internet.
The real reasons I decided to start bloggin’ are as follows…
1. This website is free. Seriously, if it had cost me a single penny I wouldn’t have thought twice.
2. I think a lot, and it’s nice to get my thoughts out on paper (or computer screen).
3. It would be nice to see if there are any other people out there who are just as confused and in awe about life as yours truly. I’m not writing this because I feel like I have all the answers; more likely it’s because I’m sure I don’t have many at all.
Now that I’ve gotten the formalities out of the way and you all know I’m not trying to be arrogant or self-centered, it’s now time to talk about me.
My name is Brad Kinnison, or, as my closest friends call me, Brad Kinnison. I’m 19 years old. I love music. I love books. I love thinking about life, God, purpose, and meaning. I love having close friends that I can learn from and grow with. I’m confused about what I’m supposed to do with my life, or if there is anything I’m supposed to do. I’m on a journey. I’m not sure where I’m going or if I’ll even know it when I get there, or if I’ll ever get there, but I’m gonna do my best.
Right now I’m entering a new stage of my life. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had some sort of plan. I’ve had some big goal that I could work towards. But right now I’m completely unsure about what I should try to do with myself. After spending just about a year on my own and out in the “real world” (aka the bubble created by the rules and regulations of living at a smallish, private Christian university), I now (due to the fact that money, no matter how much it would come in handy, just does not, and never will, grow on trees) am going to be living at home and taking online classes. (I know that was a run-on sentence, Microsoft Word. There is no need to underline it with a green squiggle.) To be completely honest, this is terrifying. I have no plan. No goal. No crazy pipe dream. (Which, contrary to popular belief, is not the type of dream an overworked plumber gets.) I’m someone who really has to have direction, to feel like I’m moving towards something greater, and I don’t have that right now.
But ya know what? I really don’t think anyone ever knows where they are going in life. At least not for sure. I’m not someone who thinks that God has our lives planned out every step of the way. But even if he does, he certainly isn’t letting us in on it. I honestly think there are times, probly even most of the time, where God lets us decide for ourselves what we should do. And, while this is a lot of responsibility, I believe it is a good responsibility. A fun responsibility. My life is a story, and I’m the one who gets to decide if it’s a comedy or a tragedy.
I choose comedy.
And really, who wants to know the plan anyway? Being confused is half the fun.
